IRL: dating in a post-Covid world
It’s very apparent that Covid-19 has changed a lot of things for us as a society. From popping a facemask on every time you exit your house, religiously sanitising your hands, not being able to grab a coffee from your favourite cafe – to not being able to meet someone you’ve been trying to chirpse in real life since the beginning of lockdown.
Going to the cinema, grabbing a drink or Netflix and chilling – these intimate experiences were replaced by awkward social distancing and daily late-night FaceTime dates. Now that restrictions are lifted and we’re in a ‘post pandemic’ world: how much have dating and relationships changed for all of us?
In March 2020, when the first ever lockdown was imposed, I started talking to my current girlfriend, Jessica. I’m not exaggerating when I say that the wait for the lockdown restrictions to be lifted was excruciating, with the both of us breaking down most nights on FaceTime just wanting to meet each other properly.
But, we also wanted to strictly abide by all COVID rules and regulations, being threatened by the thought of catching and spreading this deadly disease.
“It was so scary.” Jessica told me when asked about meeting for the first time. “Not just the thought of actually meeting you, but also the fear of catching COVID, or even unknowingly giving it to you.”
Simply put, dating during 2020 was intolerable.
“Parks and outdoor bars were good for me. It gave me the biggest ick when men would tell me they didn’t care about breaking COVID restrictions. Like, you don’t wanna stay safe? Weird.” Alice, 23, said.
“You don’t wanna say safe? Weird” – Alice, 23, on dating during Covid-19
Someone else I knew that was taking a swing at dating when Covid restrictions eased. Masks stayed on for her, and she continued to social distance with the dates she went on. Currently, Alice is fully vaccinated and is still cautious with the people she goes on dates with – ensuring all are also fully vaccinated. “I’m definitely more relaxed now, though.”
How do we date again?
However, not everyone is as at ease now. For some, the pandemic has been unshakable and left physical and existential fears that can’t be forgotten one random Thursday afternoon (thanks, Boris). Other singles who want to get back onto the dating scene today are also worried about not being able to socialise properly because of the long period of time they haven’t been on a date.
With the rise in use of dating sites during the pandemic, there was a search by most for other vaccinated singles. In March 2020, Tinder recorded its highest number of swipes on a single day: 3 billion. From March to May 2020, OkCupid saw a 700 percent increase in dates. Over on Bumble, video calls increased by 70 percent.
There was also a 680 percent rise in the mention of the term “vaccinated” in OkCupid’s profiles according to a spokesman, as well as more than half of Hinge users reported that they planned to go on more in-person dates after getting their full vaccinations.
“I got so used to talking to people virtually that now we’re post-Covid, I really don’t know how to act on a date,” says Evaneh, 22, who got out of a long-term relationship before lockdown and admits to finding it difficult to socialise ‘normally’ again.
“I guess because I’ve been out of the game for so long, I’m finding it way more difficult than it should be.” Adding that she feels anxious about meeting anyone new in real life.
Because of this lack of socialisation during the pandemic, many people seem to feel the same way. This is reflected in search data gathered by diamond ring company Angelic Diamonds. Their data shows that Google searches featuring dating queries have dramatically increased during the pandemic.
This is shown in April 2020 and March 2021, the term “What do you talk about on a first date?” increased by 600 per cent, “What questions to ask on the first date” increased by 75 per cent, and “Why is dating so hard?” increased by 57 per cent.
It is apparent that this dating anxiety is still rife, which could really hinder our ‘summer of love’ in 2022, including the surge of new terms like ‘FOMU’ (fear of meeting up) and ‘FODA’ (fear of dating again).
The rise of self-love
On the other hand, many people are reporting putting dating on hold in a post-pandemic society, focussing more on self-love and self improvement, rather than diving into dating and getting into relationships.
Both Alice and Evaneh told me that regardless of their dating queries after COVID-19, they are feeling like entirely new people. With the bountiful amount of time given to their lives during the lockdown in the summer of 2020 they could completely focus on improving their mental and physical health, getting into the habit of yoga and working out daily.
I had a crazy amount of money and time that I usually would’ve been able to spend on nights out or travelling. I spent it all on a new wardrobe and yoga equipment, and I’m completely different to pre-COVID me” – Evaneh on self-love during lockdown
Although the pandemic created many negatives within dating culture and beyond, the thought of self-love and self improvement may help people tremendously when deciding to dive back into the dating world. The advantage of being forced to prioritise yourself during the lockdown meant that many people have claimed to have found their self worth again.
Feature image by Alexandra Koch via Pixabay.